Sunday, June 30, 2013

week 6

Written January 23, 2013



Oh this week. I guess it's starting to become a little more real?  It's been more of the same. Feeling super tired, boobs are sore, the bloating —I can't even talk about the bloating. I have a ravenous appetite, the kind that comes on when my cycle's coming. I can't get enough of all of the salty things. No nausea to speak of yet.

My progesterone dropped slightly this week, from "over 40" (40 is as high as the test registers, at least at my Dr.'s office), to the upper 30s. Not a big deal, and I'm not worried about it, because they say that they just like to see anything over 20. So I'm still up there.

I have been so struggling with anxiety. I'm sure this is normal for anyone, maybe even more so especially anyone who's had trouble getting pregnant. I told the nurse the other day that it all just feels like it's too straightforward: I'm pregnant, and everything looks fine, and so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it seems like it just can't be this simple. She called me out (in a nice way) and reminded me that I need to enjoy the fact that things are straightforward right now, because for so many, it isn't.

Finding it hard to wait for next week's ultrasound...so nervous about whether or not there will be a heartbeat.

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